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Friday, March 25, 2011


I enjoyed this conversation between my mom and my nephew at his home. The boy is about 4 years old. My mom told him that she was leaving with me to my home.

The little guy readily accepted with only one condition that my dad (his grandpa) should not leave with her.

My mom asked, why that he allowed her to go, when he is not allowing his grandpa?

The little guy gave an astonishing reply that grandpa takes him to school every day and fixes his toys and bicycle. His mother takes care of him and his dad brings money, dress and things he needs. Grandma neither gives him anything, does not do any work for him but only causes him hindrance for watching his favorite TV channels.

He seemed to explain what value added relationship means. From childhood we learn to expect many things from others and respect only those who can provide us with what we expect.

I like to test the effect of smile many times,may be as a hobby. When ever I go to a shop I take care to look directly in to the eyes of the sales man or shop keeper and smile. Mostly I am welcomed with a smile and the person reciprocates a better commitment to get me what ever I want. Next stage in the shopping game is to give a business or convey, due to what reason I am not buying anything. Perhaps no seller likes to listen to the reason that the product is costly. It is better I say that I am looking for a cheaper product and leave a wish that one day I will buy the product that was offered. The relationship has starts with a smile but the value addition has to be in the form of business.

As a member of service clubs we help the needy and look forward to a gesture of gratitude at least. Frankly, there doesn't seems to be some thing called unconditional but people love to talk about unconditional love, gift and so on.

Sometimes people believe that it is their right to get what they want from some one close. Many children demand unreasonably from their parents because they get what ever they want when they demand and they simply become habituated to this. Parents also believe that it is their duty to give their children what ever they want. This sets in a very bad habit in children. There always is a duty that accompanies every right. Receiving is never unconditional. Later on when parents demand unreasonably from their children, children get irritated.

When the easiest way to start relationship is to extend smiles, favours and gifts, the easiest way to lose relationship is to frown, command, demand and expect more and more.

However the commercial world around us will always teach us to have high expectations, make big demands. They might spread the idea that the best way to express love is to gift gold, platinum and diamond jewels.

The commercial unethical smartness is to target children and women who can be easily taught to expect more, compare and made to feel inferior always. The perpetual demands from wife and children can definitely spoil the family relationship because the man involved is put under psychological pressure and rejection that he would try to come out through some way or other.

The man becomes alcoholic or workaholic to escape the uncomfortable feelings at home.

Both of these escape routes are advantageous to business and government. The taxes and duties are extremely high on alcoholic beverages. There need not be expensive ads for alcohol. The sales target for alcohol is always met easily just ensuring steady surplus availability. So this culture in amply fueled to spread fast like a forest fire and it is spreading fast. Alcohol has entered in to many family functions and one can see faces with hangover in every function. Alcoholic relationship is definitely stinky.

You can watch cricket or mega serials and some times even comedy tracks and add value to the ads on television. You can get convinced that in modern days relationship is very fragile and get in to the forum to discuss about some sort of unconditional relationship. Electronics can connect people and disconnect people and TV does the latter.

I have experimented and found it very wise to pack off the television whenever there is a family function. When the broad band internet connectivity advances and is offered at the rate of cable or dish television, the television will have a natural death and relationship, business, education and politics will improve greatly.

Let us be smart enough to understand that the present form government and present structure of consumer business will always work against our relationship.

True relationship is there in adding the values of companionship, fellowship and friendship by talking to each other, offering suggestions and helping at times of need and not in demanding all these things. Let us allot quality time to family, relatives and friends. In our words and deeds let us encourage, appreciate and help to rectify faults and mistakes instead of being sarcastic, and fault finding.

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