Sunday, June 15, 2014
We get our relatives without our choice. However we are bound to maintain a very good relationship at least with very close relatives. Nowadays our free time is occupied by television and the programs are so captivating that we even fail to do our routines. We plan our routines according to the TV programs. Sometimes we skip our meal and sit awake late night also.
The computer literate youngsters and even oldies are glued to social media and are connected with ‘n’ number of friends. Many of them are not going to be of any use except for chatting, increasing the scores on ‘likes’ and sharing some interesting links. The ‘n’ in many cases is a three digit numeral.
The time required to attend our office is also enormous when we take into account the time we spend in commuting to and fro. The competition and office politics are so fierce that we have to take home-work. We have to work from homes at times since we are wirelessly connected to our office through internet and mobile phone all the time.
We need time to go to shopping malls to buy vegetables and groceries. Normally buying vegetables and groceries some twenty years ago was a simple chore usually done by children. A grocery list would be given to the child to be handed over to the shopkeeper and goods would be packed, billed and delivered to the child or home depending on the quantity. Credit would be extended by the shop keeper and this ensures further orders to him in the future. There used to be a credit note book and not a credit card those days and it offered the opportunity for better human relationship. Paying the bill was so simple that no one needed the computer or a smart phone or any agent in between. So prices were under control and lot of time was under ones disposal.
People used to go to meet their relatives and friends frequently. They had time to go to cinema theaters with family and friends and discussed lot of things with real human beings. They gossiped, they argued they laughed loudly they had hands to hold, shoulders to lean on and they were better connected with their relatives and friends.
Now we are in the process of losing all these opportunities. We have to find ways and means to maintain the relationship, come still closer, understand better and support when in need.
Here are some of the suggestions that just cropped up in my mind. I will be honoured if the readers can supplement the list with more ideas.
1. Greet every one you come across with a bright smile enthusiastically. If your mood is down, act.. act.. act.. as though you are happy. Let the other person ask for the reason for your happiness.
2. Allot time to speak to your spouse, children, parents, brothers,sisters and in-laws with whom you are living with. Share your day to day experiences however trivial they might be.
3. Listen to them, their ideas their dreams and fantasies.
4. Allot time to speak to every one of your in-laws. Do not assume that it will be sufficient if you speak to only one member in the family. People crave for recognition from their early childhood and they may not be able to come out of this.
5. If you are living away from your parents and in-laws take care to speak to each one of them over phone at least once in a week and more frequently with elders. If you are good at texting, use your mobile and do that as frequently as possible.
6. People like letters and emails addressed to them directly rather than a status update or sharing on face book. So start using emails if you have stopped.
7. Use texting, direct phone calls to greet the close relatives. Your face book updates hardly have any value and it may even go unnoticed.
8. Consciously reduce the time you spend on face book and other social media.
9. Go to nearby places, orphanage and quality social clubs and connect with real human.
10. Understand the importance of your neighbors and find ways to get connected. A close relative who can even be your son or daughter living elsewhere is of no use at times of emergency and it is your neighbor who can help you and give you moral support.
If you do not want to do all these things, get to understand that you are undergoing a process of renouncing your relatives and friends which means that you are breaking away from their bondage. Many sadhus in India have talked great of breaking the worldly bondage and so join them to rejoice the happiness of being free from bondage.
The choice is absolutely yours.